Questioning the civilized world

Thoughts lay heavy on a battered mind, Thoughts of love and loss, and near forgotten crimes, Why so full is my cluttered mind? A story maybe told another time, Over and again my heart goes to pine, Over the last, the next one to find, Forever I fear, it will always be mine. These things I hide inside. Push your fingers deeper into my wounds. Lights shine harsh across my tired eyes, follow if you may against this I advise, if seen only once that’s one to many times, these memories that I hide. Words swing soft around my tired ears, bringing back the worries and forgotten fears, forget the horrors never forget the tears, the end I fear is near. I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to fall asleep. I don’t want to let go, I’ll be with you in my dreams.

Maybe we’re not all part of any devine plan. Maybe some of us were just sketched on napkins.

I think im making myself crazy. I wright songs, and then i tare them apart before anyone can hear them. Im lonley, but im to much a coward to initiate a conversation with a girl,and if i do im so focused on what she thinks of me to relax and be myself. I want nothing more than ro express myself, but im the only person stoping me from doing it.

I just dont want to feel like i need to put up a false front.

What a weird night. Some super bonding with becca and daniel. I get home and to sleep and nick and hannah waje me up at 4:30. Nick was wearing a pokadot bikini and hannah was topless tits out and all. Josh and his random bitch took off. Bow nick and hannah are in his room, i can hear them fuckin. What a reard night.